A friend is doing a writing each day this week on LOVE in honor of Valentine's Day. Today, his struck a note with me.
Here is what he wrote:
I wonder how many people think they live loving lives. When I read Paul's introduction of love it strikes that chord in me that we all have... "Here is what love is all about!" But Paul's famous words about love are not just for our significant other, they apply to how we treat all humans.
"Be patient with everyone, and be kind to them as well. Do not become jealous when others have things you want, don't brag about yourself and do not insult others by your lack of social skills. Stop being that person that is always angry, and don't bring up every little thing someone has done every time they make you upset..." ~1 Corinthians 13:4-5~
We always read the famous 1 Corinthians 13:13.
It is so important to read these two verses as well. My friend, Ryan, is right - THIS is what love is about. NOT just about your partner in life, but about how you treat every single person you encounter.
"Be patient with everyone" - wow, wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if we followed this. Even if we followed it ONE MORE time each day than we currently do.
"Be kind to them as well" - so those people you are having to work hard to be patient with...you need to be kind to them as well. Too often, if we only do the patient part, it comes across as condescending and belittling. We need to partner our patience with kindness so that it is sincere and can be appreciated because it is genuine, not forced.
"Do not become jealous when others have things you want" - I think this is a huge one to teach our children. (Don't get me wrong - adults need it to...but read on) So often kids make fun of others because they are jealous. It's much easier to point out some fault in another rather than to admit you are jealous of what they have. And it may not be a concrete "thing" they have - it could be respect by teachers, a friendship that is always there, ability in the classroom, the ability to wear fashionable clothing and make it look good.
Kids are masters of finding that one little thing that will "get" another kid and hurt them by making fun of it. A bully makes it their daily goal. If only we could teach our kids to follow this teaching.
"Don't brag about yourself" - this is one I sure wish I could have learned in school. I don't know what it is about me, but I have never made friends easily. I get along with men much more easily than women. But in high school I desperately, desperately wanted to fit in and be part of the popular crowd. I never did fit in. But is certainly wasn't for lack of trying. I found myself not being able to get the attention of anyone - I would brag to get people to notice me. WRONG tactic, only got me negative attention.
"Do not insult others by your lack of social skills" - this just makes me giggle. HOW long ago did Paul write this letter to the Corinthians? Social skills are so darn important. And when people refuse to use them, they DO insult the people around them. Learning social skills and important for all people, even if being around others is not their forte. They still need to learn to be able to be around others and use social skills that are appropriate for the setting.
"Stop being that person that is always angry." - we all know people like that, people who always seem angry. There was a psychologist who came to my high school and worked with groups of students. He had a theory (as inappropriate as it was to share with us) that I have always remembered. He said those are the people you want to wish an orgasm on. Now, as an adult, I understand what he was trying to get across to us.
Now, granted, he needed to learn his own social skills since he was working with teens - most of whom had not had sex yet. But now, I get it. He was wishing them a way of finding happiness that comes from something deep and meaningful. He wasn't implying casual sex - he was implying a true relationship with someone you truly love. And the culmination of that love in an orgasm. Now, whenever I see someone who you can sense is always angry - I remember that man and his theory. And though I do NOT do what he wished - I try to make sure that I do not come across angry, even if I am angry.
I work very hard every day to make sure that even if I am sad, upset, angry, frustrated...the people around me are not affected by my mood. People deserve the best me and I am not my best when I am sad, upset, angry, frustrated, etc. Now that does NOT mean that I ignore my feelings, it is very important that a person deals with those feelings, not ignores them. But there is a time and a place and it is not when you are around others. It makes others uncomfortable and it is rude. Always show the best you and you will be a happier person for it.
"Don't bring up every little thing someone has done every time they make you upset." - this is a classic marriage fight - heck, just this weekend I reminded Mike how our first Valentine's Day he got me nothing. Granted - this wasn't done in a fight (this time) it was just in our teasing back and forth. I think way to many of us do this with the people around us. Maybe people we work with, people we see at activities, etc. Or when we go home for a holiday. Or when we see people from our past. We may not actually bring it up aloud, but we bring it up in our head and hold it against them. Wow - really think about this. We often say we have forgiven...but in your heart of hearts have we? Can we be around someone who has upset us in the past, maybe even many, many times - and not bring those faults up in our heads if they upset us again? I know I am at fault of this one. I think I have forgiven, put it aside, and then I am in the situation again and darn it all - it's back in my head again. UGH - I am learning that I really need to turn it over and allow myself to forgive completely.
So my friend, Ryan, has truly inspired me today to keep these verses in my mind as I deal with people. Can I do these things and really be a a loving person, not just to my partner, but to everyone. That is my challenge to all of you. Work to live as truly loving people by following these 2, simple verses. Thanks, Ryan, for sharing that with us today!
Lovely expansion on my post (no pun intended). Thanks for sharing it with your people! I hope we can all learn to love a little more this Valentine's Day.
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