Yesterday, Day 2 on my journey.
I shared with my students what I was going to be doing. Went back and forth in my head if it was the right thing to do and decided that I was going to be telling them anyway when they asked, so why not just tell them from the start.
As I was telling the kids I made sure to say, SEVERAL times, that I was NOT doing this because I don't like what I look like or I don't like me. I told them that I love me just the way I was made, but it is important to me that I be healthy. I want to be a grandma who plays with her grandchildren and has fun, not one who sits in the chair and watches them playing. I explained to them that with being overweight there come many health risks and I want to make myself healthier.
It was VERY important to me that my students know that they should love themselves for whoever they are. I don't want anyone thinking I am doing this for how I look or because I don't like me. I am doing this to be healthier. I certainly don't want to send the message to students that if they are heavy they should want to change or they should not like themselves.
I also talked about how being overweight is partially my fault for the eating habits I have had. I explained that having good eating habits from a young age is important. If you have them from the start, it is much easier to carry them forward into adulthood when your metabolism changes on you anyway!
But I went on to tell them that part of being overweight is out of your control, it is a gene. It is how you are made and you should NEVER feel badly for how you were made. We were all made to be exactly who we are and we should love who that is. NO ONE is perfect but we are who we are supposed to be.
One of the best parts of what I have already gone through with this program was in the reading I did and in meeting with the surgeon. Yes, they want me to try to lose weight before the surgery, but he also said that people try, and often gain weight "it's part of the disease."
It gave me such validation....I have tried and tried to lose weight. It's frustrating beyond belief. I know people in my life have, at times, watched me eat and judged me for what I eat.
Here's the deal...when I eat healthy, exercise and really work hard to lose weight...I do for a little while and then, even while still eating healthy and exercising, I start to put it back on and then more.
The kicker - when I eat what I want and don't worry about it...I maintain my weight. No, I don't lose, but I also don't gain. It's like my body just wants to be there at that weight. And let me tell you....if eating carrots, broccoli, water, etc doesn't make me lose any weight and eating chocolate, coke zero and cheetos doesn't make me gain any weight - I will pick the chocolate, coke zero and cheetos! :-)
But, back to the kids at school. ONe of the reasons I first decided to tell them what was going on is that every morning since last March I have had a Visalus shake for breakfast. I am NOT good at time management in the morning (getting out of bed and getting breakfast before I leave the house - ummm, I'd rather stay in bed). So, I always have that shake at school with me while I am sitting in my happy place in the entry way with the kids. It's always been 12 ounces of OJ, the shake mix, 1/2 cup of mandarin oranges. Nummy. Well, one of the "NO" items for me now is juice. I can't have any juice any more. (the sugar molecules would enter my system before being broken down and cause diarrhea and such - so no more juice)
So kids were already asking me where my smoothie was. They were already seeing something was weird with me. They've been noticing that I am drinking water instead of coke zero, and now this darn smoothie is gone, what's going on Mrs. P!?!
And, if all goes as planned, when they come back to school next fall, there will be significantly less of me! And I'd be answering a TON of questions then.
It was kind of fun, actually. The kids are really excited for me, and that really made my day. Unlike adults, they totally accept what I am doing and don't question the why.
I do have to say, there were a few moments that nearly made me cry. A 4th grader worried I would become anorexic. I assured her that I would be FAR from anorexic! A 3rd grader worried I would die from the surgery. I told her that I had more of a chance of dying by driving to Burlington and being hit by another car.
I loved when a 5th grade boy told me that was it, he was going to stop eating junk food and start now and eating better because he too wanted to be able to play with his grandkids and if good eating habits start when you are young, he was starting now! :-)
Kids have a habit of being very transparent and saying exactly what they are feeling. Honestly, the kids were awesome and totally and completely supportive. NONE of them can believe that my stomach will end up being the size of 1/2 of an egg - they just can't fathom that! They feel VERY sorry that I will never get to have ice cream again. THAT was the worst for them. Oh, and that from now on my "snack" is a glass of milk. That made them just look at me like I was crazy.
Friday was a fabulous day 2 to my journey. The kids were phenomenal and I had my first "milk snack" during recess time!
SATURDAY - Day 3:
So, I tried the whole not drinking while you eat thing. That was weird. I drank a 20 ounce bottle of water while driving from Des MOines to Iowa City. I finished it out by Williamsburg outlet mall. When we got to REd Lobster, we had a 15 minute wait for a table. I definitely waited 30 minutes after drinking to eat anything. Then, after eating supper we shopped at Wal-Mart and then drove home. I didn't have any water until I got home. So, I did it. It was weird, at times I was really thirsty, but it passed.
I've decided that this no drinking during meals is going to be my first behavior change. I will work on the chewing 30 times for each bite after this has become more natural for me. I can't change everything at once, that just isn't possible.
Mike and I had already decided to wait unitl MOnday to start this whole 1400 calorie plan since we were traveling this weekend. So, I DID have one pop today - but just the one that I had with lunch at IHOP. And I didn't even drink it all!
Tomorrow we are doing to do some "prep" for the week, figuring out what to eat for lunches and suppers. And actually that will be easier for me than breakfast. I struggle with eating breakfast, always have. And the shakes were an easy way for me to get my breakfast but not feel heavy. So tomorrow I need to spend some time figuring out what I can do for breakfast that will meet my requirements but not made me feel icky.
Tomorrow is Day 4, a day of planning and preparing for the start of new eating habits that begin Monday.
To quote C.S. Lewis (I saw this on a friend's facebook page tonight):
"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."
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