So the last time I posted was September and I was ecstatic - I had FINALLY gotten to overweight instead of obese.
Ha - that lasted about a week - then I was back to where I've been since last March. UGH.
I've used this blog too often as just a - yay, I'm doing great. A way to cheer for myself. Yes, I've talked about the bad things, the mental issues, the body image issues, the food issues...but generally and over all, I've used it to help me feel good about myself and what I am doing.
I guess I haven't felt too good about myself since last March. I've been completely stuck. Yep, since last March I've been the same weight. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, I just stay where I am...stuck
I guess I have spent too much time feeling sorry for myself. I often feel like I've failed. I follow a few weight-loss surgery support groups and I see people who started exactly where I was and had surgery after I did... and they got much further than I have.
I know, I know - never compare yourself to others, we are all on our own journey. I get that. But seriously - an entire year and I have not made any advances. SO, SO angry with myself. I think that's the big thing. My self anger.
I find that I have reverted in my brain to old days of not believing I can achieve what I want. I self-defeat myself. I know exercising is good for me - but when I do, I still don't lose weight. I was being very good about exercising regularly - but still, no change. So - why exercise?
I'm supposed to eat very few carbs - but if I eat few carbs or enjoy carbs - I stay the same.
Am I somehow stopping myself from losing more? I wish I knew. I don't want to be a failure, I don't want to feel like I've failed. But for some reason - I'm stuck.
Is it in my brain - am I self-sabotaging? How do I stop this?
Daily questions and worries. How do I stop this?
Oh my god!! I hate this damn phone! I have tried to comment 3 timed and I keep losing the comment. I'm going to try this and if it works then I will send you what I really want to.
ReplyDeleteOk, let's try this again.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about watching inches instead of pounds for a while? Everyone plateaus--it means it's time to focus somewhere else. Its time to tighten and tone what your weight loss now allows you to see. Measure your waist, thighs, and upper arms and then set up a simple weight program--low weights, high reps. You won't see 12 inches lost overnight but you'll see it. And as an added bonus strong muscles need more energy so you will burn more calories.
My two cents.....
Hi Molly! I know exactly what you are experiencing. So many of us do. I have noticed that my body has these 'setpoints' or 'plateaus' that is hits whether going up or down the scale. When it hits one, it sticks there (within a couple pounds or two) until something knocks it off that plateau (either one end or the other). Sometimes it seems like it will respond to eating more/less or exercising more/less, but there are times I can't figure it out. Mystery! I do know you can't let it discourage you. I know it's frustrating, (boy do I know it). But you can't let it control you. As long as you are eating healthy food and exercising, it will break it's hold on you. (.....eventually....) Guess the good thing is that it keeps you from gaining weight as well as losing it. (we have to be grateful for something) Just remember you are NOT a failure. You have lost so much weight so quickly, you are definitely a WINNER! and a role model for some of us. (I'm thinking more and more about your reaching 'overweight' as I continue to inch back down out of the 'obese' range.) Your body is probably just trying to readjust to it's new 'normal'. It's altogether likely your fat/muscle ratio is changing. Muscles weigh more than fat as well as need more energy to function. If that's the case, your body is likely to be looking much better as spring turns into summer. Just don't give up. BTW. Christine's idea of looking at inches instead of pounds is a very good and sound one. We're rooting for you. Hugs.
Delete