UPworthy.com is a web-site that's "tag line" is
Things that matter. Pass 'em on.
Today, that is what my blog is - seriously - just passing on a 7 minute video that I hope you will take the time to watch.
This young woman is an inspiration. She has figured out what WAY too many people in our world have not.
She shares her thoughts and rather than me trying to tell you mine and how they are the same....you should just watch the video.
EVERYONE is beautiful.....God makes NO mistakes.
http://www.upworthy.com/she-had-a-pretty-woman-moment-at-a-dress-shop-but-her-response-is-way-better-than-julia-roberts?c=ufb1
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
NOT a Choice
Way back in October when I first blogged I talked about how people/society feel that it is okay to treat people poorly because they are obese.
I talked about a friend who had shared with me an experience with her doctor at her annual exam. A DOCTOR felt that he was free to say he wished he could take all "you fat girls" and put them on an island without food so they would lose weight, etc.
Seriously - if a doctor, who is educated and should know better, feels that he has the right to put people down and belittle them for being obese....no wonder the average person you encounter feels they can as well.
People in general do not understand that obesity is NOT A CHOICE. It's not like I chose to be fat. I didn't sit down one day in 1st or 2nd grade and say, "Hmmm - you know what, I think I want to be overweight."
Why do I say 1st or 2nd grade? Because I know that when I was younger I was thin. But I have pictures of myself in 3rd grade - and I am no longer thin.
I spent junior high and high school being teased, called names and being belittled because of my weight. One boy in high school decided that he had the right to call me "moose" every time he saw me. I saw this "boy" again as adults. We were both at a music teacher convention - and he decided then, as adults, that he should call me names and put me down in front of other professionals. Needless to say, he is NOT one of my favorite people.
Is it any wonder that obese people struggle with weight loss?
Last week a former student of mine posted something on his facebook page that hit a nerve for me - big time. He wrote (I may not have it exactly right - he has blocked me because of my response so I cannot go back to verify the wording): "Dear Morbidly Obese Person: Maybe instead of the triple cheeseburger you should spend that money on a gym membership. You're welcome."
I replied about how rude I thought that was and that until you have walked a mile in someone's shoes you do not know why they are who they are.
He replied that this person needed "tough love" and needed someone to be rude to them and tell them the truth because being nice didn't work.
OMG - I was frustrated. I attempted to explain that as a morbidly obese person who has tried over and over to lose weight and have failed over and over...there is more to it than that. I tried to explain that most obese people feel horrible about it and wish with everything they have that they were NOT obese, but have failed SO MANY times they often give up.
I guess this incident really hit me hard. Here is a 20 something who had me as a teacher at age 10 and heard my first day talk about how we don't EVER put people down. That it doesn't matter if you are 45 or 7, when someone makes fun of you, it hurts.
As an obese person I can say that when you have tried over and over and over to lose weight and failed, over and over and over. Your self-esteem goes in the toilet.
I can honestly say that I have had no self-esteem for as long as I can remember. As people get to know me, some have been surprised to find that out because I always seem so happy.
I decided long ago that it was safer to be happy - or appear that way - than to let people see how little I believed in myself.
OK - total truth time - never put all of this into words before....
High School was complete hell for me. I was not treated well be people - but some of it was brought on by my own behavior. I so desperately, desperately wanted to be liked and have friends. I so desperately wanted people to notice something GOOD about me instead of always pointing out my weight. So what did I do? I bragged about my grades or anything else that I did well.
Did this help me - NOPE. It only made things worse. Now not only did they think I was fat - they thought I was vain.
A classmate did a "great" job of bringing it all back to me at my 20th reunion. There was a slide show that a classmate had put together. One of the pictures I submitted was a birthday party picture from when I was like 6. The other kids there were mostly from my class.
This classmate, at age 38 for goodness sakes, when he saw that picture said, "Look, it's when Molly actually had friends."
Those 7 words pretty much summed up all of my feelings about school. In 7 words he ruined my class reunion for me. In 7 words he pretty much determined that I would not be back for another reunion.
NEVER in my life have I stood up to those people who felt it ok to belittle or make fun of me. NEVER in my life did I have the guts to say, "Yes, I'm fat. Yes, I wish I was thinner. Yes, I need help."
So when this young man posted that rude comment last week - I spoke out for the young woman he was putting down. Why? Because I remember the years of silence and pain. I remember how horrible it feels when someone teases you, puts you down, belittles you and thinks they are "helping" you. I also remember the pain of wishing I could tell them how they made me feel, but not having the guts because I was sure all that would lead to was more teasing and belittling.
To this day I cannot stand up for myself. I have been taught through years and years of "training" or "conditioning" that I am paranoid and think people are out to get me. That I "make more of things" than I should and I "take things too personally."
Yes, those are honestly the words and phrases that have been said to me by a person whose opinion mattered more than anything to me. I learned to believe that I should allow people to treat me this way and just take it. So now, at age 44, I still cannot stand up for myself for fear that I'm just making too much of it. I have been conditioned to believe I should allow people to treat me that way.
My last 8 months have done much for my self-esteem. Writing this blog has allowed me an outlet for my emotions and my thoughts. I can write here all the things I wished I would say to these people who feel they can treat people rudely.
Before I started this journey, I would never have replied to this 20 something and told him how wrong he was. I would have read it and fumed silently.
What is bringing this all out today?
The American Medical Association has adopted a new policy that officially labels obesity as a disease "requiring a range of medical interventions to advance obesity treatment and prevention," according to an AMA statement.
That's right - as of today - Obesity is a disease. Something that every obese person has known in their heart.
"Obesity has been considered for a long time to be a failure of personal responsibility -- a simple problem of eating too much and exercising too little," he said. "But it's a complex disease... we're hoping attitudes will change."
I am thrilled that the AMA has made this statement and hope that it means that obese children will not have to grow up thinking that their weight is their fault, that they are a failure.
It is my hope that with this newly adopted policy, obese children and adults can get the help they need to defeat this disease.
I am not naive enough to think that just because the AMA has adopted this policy that all public views will change. But I hope, as they do, that attitudes will change.
I became a teacher to "help kids through the hell we call high school." I wanted to be a teacher that kids knew they could trust and count on. A teacher that kids knew would be there for them. I wanted to be able to be a place for kids to come and feel safe and respected.
I hope this new policy will help make our society a place that helps obese people through the hell we call life as an obese person. I know it won't be immediate, I know it will take time. But if it can help save ONE person from feeling like I have felt my whole life, it will be awesome.
I talked about a friend who had shared with me an experience with her doctor at her annual exam. A DOCTOR felt that he was free to say he wished he could take all "you fat girls" and put them on an island without food so they would lose weight, etc.
Seriously - if a doctor, who is educated and should know better, feels that he has the right to put people down and belittle them for being obese....no wonder the average person you encounter feels they can as well.
People in general do not understand that obesity is NOT A CHOICE. It's not like I chose to be fat. I didn't sit down one day in 1st or 2nd grade and say, "Hmmm - you know what, I think I want to be overweight."
Why do I say 1st or 2nd grade? Because I know that when I was younger I was thin. But I have pictures of myself in 3rd grade - and I am no longer thin.
I spent junior high and high school being teased, called names and being belittled because of my weight. One boy in high school decided that he had the right to call me "moose" every time he saw me. I saw this "boy" again as adults. We were both at a music teacher convention - and he decided then, as adults, that he should call me names and put me down in front of other professionals. Needless to say, he is NOT one of my favorite people.
Is it any wonder that obese people struggle with weight loss?
Last week a former student of mine posted something on his facebook page that hit a nerve for me - big time. He wrote (I may not have it exactly right - he has blocked me because of my response so I cannot go back to verify the wording): "Dear Morbidly Obese Person: Maybe instead of the triple cheeseburger you should spend that money on a gym membership. You're welcome."
I replied about how rude I thought that was and that until you have walked a mile in someone's shoes you do not know why they are who they are.
He replied that this person needed "tough love" and needed someone to be rude to them and tell them the truth because being nice didn't work.
OMG - I was frustrated. I attempted to explain that as a morbidly obese person who has tried over and over to lose weight and have failed over and over...there is more to it than that. I tried to explain that most obese people feel horrible about it and wish with everything they have that they were NOT obese, but have failed SO MANY times they often give up.
I guess this incident really hit me hard. Here is a 20 something who had me as a teacher at age 10 and heard my first day talk about how we don't EVER put people down. That it doesn't matter if you are 45 or 7, when someone makes fun of you, it hurts.
As an obese person I can say that when you have tried over and over and over to lose weight and failed, over and over and over. Your self-esteem goes in the toilet.
I can honestly say that I have had no self-esteem for as long as I can remember. As people get to know me, some have been surprised to find that out because I always seem so happy.
I decided long ago that it was safer to be happy - or appear that way - than to let people see how little I believed in myself.
OK - total truth time - never put all of this into words before....
High School was complete hell for me. I was not treated well be people - but some of it was brought on by my own behavior. I so desperately, desperately wanted to be liked and have friends. I so desperately wanted people to notice something GOOD about me instead of always pointing out my weight. So what did I do? I bragged about my grades or anything else that I did well.
Did this help me - NOPE. It only made things worse. Now not only did they think I was fat - they thought I was vain.
A classmate did a "great" job of bringing it all back to me at my 20th reunion. There was a slide show that a classmate had put together. One of the pictures I submitted was a birthday party picture from when I was like 6. The other kids there were mostly from my class.
This classmate, at age 38 for goodness sakes, when he saw that picture said, "Look, it's when Molly actually had friends."
Those 7 words pretty much summed up all of my feelings about school. In 7 words he ruined my class reunion for me. In 7 words he pretty much determined that I would not be back for another reunion.
NEVER in my life have I stood up to those people who felt it ok to belittle or make fun of me. NEVER in my life did I have the guts to say, "Yes, I'm fat. Yes, I wish I was thinner. Yes, I need help."
So when this young man posted that rude comment last week - I spoke out for the young woman he was putting down. Why? Because I remember the years of silence and pain. I remember how horrible it feels when someone teases you, puts you down, belittles you and thinks they are "helping" you. I also remember the pain of wishing I could tell them how they made me feel, but not having the guts because I was sure all that would lead to was more teasing and belittling.
To this day I cannot stand up for myself. I have been taught through years and years of "training" or "conditioning" that I am paranoid and think people are out to get me. That I "make more of things" than I should and I "take things too personally."
Yes, those are honestly the words and phrases that have been said to me by a person whose opinion mattered more than anything to me. I learned to believe that I should allow people to treat me this way and just take it. So now, at age 44, I still cannot stand up for myself for fear that I'm just making too much of it. I have been conditioned to believe I should allow people to treat me that way.
My last 8 months have done much for my self-esteem. Writing this blog has allowed me an outlet for my emotions and my thoughts. I can write here all the things I wished I would say to these people who feel they can treat people rudely.
Before I started this journey, I would never have replied to this 20 something and told him how wrong he was. I would have read it and fumed silently.
What is bringing this all out today?
The American Medical Association has adopted a new policy that officially labels obesity as a disease "requiring a range of medical interventions to advance obesity treatment and prevention," according to an AMA statement.
That's right - as of today - Obesity is a disease. Something that every obese person has known in their heart.
"Obesity has been considered for a long time to be a failure of personal responsibility -- a simple problem of eating too much and exercising too little," he said. "But it's a complex disease... we're hoping attitudes will change."
I am thrilled that the AMA has made this statement and hope that it means that obese children will not have to grow up thinking that their weight is their fault, that they are a failure.
It is my hope that with this newly adopted policy, obese children and adults can get the help they need to defeat this disease.
I am not naive enough to think that just because the AMA has adopted this policy that all public views will change. But I hope, as they do, that attitudes will change.
I became a teacher to "help kids through the hell we call high school." I wanted to be a teacher that kids knew they could trust and count on. A teacher that kids knew would be there for them. I wanted to be able to be a place for kids to come and feel safe and respected.
I hope this new policy will help make our society a place that helps obese people through the hell we call life as an obese person. I know it won't be immediate, I know it will take time. But if it can help save ONE person from feeling like I have felt my whole life, it will be awesome.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Eating and Drinking after Weight Loss Surgery
Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) patients have many "rules" to follow post surgery but the one that was hardest for me to understand until recently was the following.
Nothing to drink for 30 minutes before you eat.
Nothing to drink while you eat.
Nothing to drink for at least 30 minutes after you eat.
So that means, since you are supposed to take 30 minutes to eat, that for 90 minutes you may not have anything to drink.
Now I don't know about you, but drinking has always been a part of my meals. I mean, forever. That's when we make our children have a glass of milk...at least that's how it was when I was growing up. It's what we have done with our kids.
For breakfast, you have juice - some of you have coffee.
Some people have wine or other adult beverages.
It's a part of our culture - we drink when we eat.
So I asked the dietitian why it's so important. She talked about how it causes the pouch (my new tummy) to empty faster and can lead to over eating.
I asked, "What if I drink my milk while I eat, but I only eat what I am supposed to, I stick to the rules, even if I am hungry and want more?"
She was insistent that NO, I need the milk a few hours after my meals to regulate blood sugars and to get my protein and maintain satisfaction.
Last week, on another WLS person's facebook page she shared a link to the following youtube video. It's not very long, but click on it and take a couple minutes to watch.
Why you do NOT drink during and after meals.
After watching this, I will NOT drink...not even sip...during a meal or for 30 minutes after I finish. I admit, I was a sipper...I mean, come on, what could a little sip harm.
Well, this demonstration has cured me.
So how do you deal with this when our culture is so centered around drinking while we eat?
Waiters and waitresses are trained to make sure people have full drinks at all times, they kind of get thrown if you order nothing. So, when I go to a restaurant, I simply ask for a water and then I put it to the side. That way I don't have to explain to the server why I don't want anything. Servers already look at me goofy when I ask for a to-go box as soon as my meal is delivered. But that is how I do my portion control...leave my appropriate sized serving on my plate and put the rest in the to-go box and close it to take home.
The first time I tried that to-go box thing, I failed miserably. Luckily, or not, it was months before my surgery. We were out to one of our favorite places in the area, The Thirsty Camel. They have THE BEST meal...Camel Turds. Yes, you read that right, camel turds. Sirloin tips lightly breaded and fried. DELICIOUS!
So, I got a to-go box and put 2/3 of the meal in there and close it. Well, before we left, I had eaten it all. It is just so darn good! But on future visits I was successful - and that just meant that I got to have those delicious turds the next 2 days!!!
After watching the video - if you read my blog on dumping - you can see how drinking while eating or to soon after eating can also cause dumping. Dumping is the food getting to the intestines too quickly. You saw what happened when he simulated drinking just a half glass. That equals food passing through too quickly. And after my experience with dumping, I do not want to do that again.
I have yet to figure out exactly why the 30 minutes before are supposed to be drink free. On this fb page of the other WLS person, many of the people have said that they were not given that rule and they were told that they could drink right up til eating.
I, however, am not willing to risk it and I try very hard to not drink for the 30 minutes leading up to eating. I fail at times, but try to only have sips.
But I will no longer be sipping during my meal and will stick to those 30 minutes following the meal as well.
Nothing to drink for 30 minutes before you eat.
Nothing to drink while you eat.
Nothing to drink for at least 30 minutes after you eat.
So that means, since you are supposed to take 30 minutes to eat, that for 90 minutes you may not have anything to drink.
Now I don't know about you, but drinking has always been a part of my meals. I mean, forever. That's when we make our children have a glass of milk...at least that's how it was when I was growing up. It's what we have done with our kids.
For breakfast, you have juice - some of you have coffee.
Some people have wine or other adult beverages.
It's a part of our culture - we drink when we eat.
So I asked the dietitian why it's so important. She talked about how it causes the pouch (my new tummy) to empty faster and can lead to over eating.
I asked, "What if I drink my milk while I eat, but I only eat what I am supposed to, I stick to the rules, even if I am hungry and want more?"
She was insistent that NO, I need the milk a few hours after my meals to regulate blood sugars and to get my protein and maintain satisfaction.
Last week, on another WLS person's facebook page she shared a link to the following youtube video. It's not very long, but click on it and take a couple minutes to watch.
Why you do NOT drink during and after meals.
After watching this, I will NOT drink...not even sip...during a meal or for 30 minutes after I finish. I admit, I was a sipper...I mean, come on, what could a little sip harm.
Well, this demonstration has cured me.
So how do you deal with this when our culture is so centered around drinking while we eat?
Waiters and waitresses are trained to make sure people have full drinks at all times, they kind of get thrown if you order nothing. So, when I go to a restaurant, I simply ask for a water and then I put it to the side. That way I don't have to explain to the server why I don't want anything. Servers already look at me goofy when I ask for a to-go box as soon as my meal is delivered. But that is how I do my portion control...leave my appropriate sized serving on my plate and put the rest in the to-go box and close it to take home.
The first time I tried that to-go box thing, I failed miserably. Luckily, or not, it was months before my surgery. We were out to one of our favorite places in the area, The Thirsty Camel. They have THE BEST meal...Camel Turds. Yes, you read that right, camel turds. Sirloin tips lightly breaded and fried. DELICIOUS!
So, I got a to-go box and put 2/3 of the meal in there and close it. Well, before we left, I had eaten it all. It is just so darn good! But on future visits I was successful - and that just meant that I got to have those delicious turds the next 2 days!!!
After watching the video - if you read my blog on dumping - you can see how drinking while eating or to soon after eating can also cause dumping. Dumping is the food getting to the intestines too quickly. You saw what happened when he simulated drinking just a half glass. That equals food passing through too quickly. And after my experience with dumping, I do not want to do that again.
I have yet to figure out exactly why the 30 minutes before are supposed to be drink free. On this fb page of the other WLS person, many of the people have said that they were not given that rule and they were told that they could drink right up til eating.
I, however, am not willing to risk it and I try very hard to not drink for the 30 minutes leading up to eating. I fail at times, but try to only have sips.
But I will no longer be sipping during my meal and will stick to those 30 minutes following the meal as well.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Dumping
Dumping Syndrome: according to Mayo Clinic's definition
Dumping syndrome is a group of symptoms that are most likely to develop if you've had surgery to remove all or part of your stomach, or if your stomach has been surgically bypassed to help lose weight. Also called rapid gastric emptying, dumping syndrome occurs when the undigested contents of your stomach move too rapidly into your small bowel. Common symptoms include abdominal cramps, nausea and diarrhea.
Most people with dumping syndrome experience symptoms soon after eating. In others, symptoms may occur one to three hours after eating. Some people experience both early and late symptoms.
In layman's terms....eat too fast or something that disagrees...cramps, vomiting and diarrhea.
Nearly everyone who has gastric bypass surgery has or will experience this at some point.
Well, I have now had my turn. On Wednesday, at 5 weeks and 1 day out from surgery, my lunch did not agree with me. I was putting sunscreen on Matthew so he could go to the pool. I had to stop I had such extreme cramping. Well I have had gas cramps before - so I didn't find it all that odd. It passed, I went back to doing the sunscreen duty.
Off and on, the cramping continued but I could survive. Then I decided I had better go to the bathroom because it wasn't just gas. On my way to the bathroom I quickly detoured to the kitchen and grabbed a large bowl because I realized I was going to vomit as well.
Maggie followed me, all worried and wondered if she should get dad. She was so concerned, it was wonderful.
I was SO tired after that I slept for over 2 hours and still felt kind of blechy all evening.
Upon thinking through my food choices and speed of eating, etc I recalled that the day before I had also had the same meal and had cramping - but that was it.
The culprit? Cantaloupe. I guess that will be a food that I avoid, at least for awhile. Not real willing to try again right now. Do NOT want a repeat performance from Wednesday!
So, last time I blogged I was excited about my upcoming interview.
It went well, I was very pleased. i was very optimistic...too optimistic, evidently. I received the phone call today telling me that they offered the job to someone else. They said it was a difficult decision and that I interviewed well, but that they went with another candidate.
I had already figured this out since I was told that they would know today and my phone call did not come until after 4:00. In other words, they were calling their first choice and waiting for the response before calling me to say no thanks. If I had been their choice, I would have received the call earlier in the day.
This has posed a dilemma for me. In the past when I have felt extremely down and worthless, cheetos with dip were my comfort.
At this point - I have nothing to use for comfort!! I guess I could get some cheetos and dip - but the likelihood is that I would dump again. And since I really have NO desire to dump again...
So, I have spent WAY too much of my day feeling sorry for myself. I keep replaying the interview over and over trying to figure out what I did wrong.
It's frustrating have 18 very successful years of teaching and not being good enough for the job. Especially frustrating is applying for 9 jobs and having 8 of them not even bother to interview me. Some of that, I assume, is that I DO have 18 years of experience and that means I am more expensive than a new teacher. So not getting an interview, although it bothers me and hurts, is much easier to deal with than getting an interview and then being rejected.
There are no more job openings in any surrounding areas at this point. So now I sit and pray that another job opens up and that it will be the job I am meant to have.
In the mean time...I need to figure out my new way of coping. My dietitian would probably recommend water since I never seem to get enough of that. So... that is what I will try. I don't think it will be quite as tasty as my cheetos and dip, however!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Plateau has been broken
Friday, June 7...exactly one month from surgery. I went to my one month post-op appointment.
My weight - Like I reported in my last blog - had plateaued. On their scales I weigh in at 19 pounds lost since surgery.
I expressed my frustration because I had lost all of that 4 days after I had last seen them, 3 weeks ago.
They informed me that I should not be worried, I was right on track for weight loss at one month. THAT made me feel much better.
Evidently I read something back in October that said 6 pounds a week after surgery.
They assured me that I had NOT heard that from them. That is unrealistic. That realistic weight loss expectation would be about 10 pounds a month....which is still accelerated weight loss from "normal".
So I see them again in 2 months and they said the goal would be 20 more pounds by that point.
So...my weight loss has started up again. I owe it to two factors.
1) I am eating "normal" food again. A friend who did this surgery last July was reminding me how in the past when we would try to diet and starve ourselves, etc...our bodies don't lose the weight, they hold onto it because you go into starvation mode. She said her advice was to add some food. (i was still on liquids) So I started my pureed diet a few days before going to my 1 month appointment.
For my first "meal" I had a scrambled egg. That was the most delicious scrambled egg I have ever had!
So, I was diving into my pureed diet. However, I "cheated" because there was simply no way in heck I was going to puree my meat. NO WAY. And I don't like cooked veggies much at all, and the idea of pureeing them - no way would I eat them.
So, I picked the softest meat I could think of and that was flaky fish. And soft cooked carrots. Again...delicious.
I am on day 7 today of eating food. And according to my scale, I have lost 6 pounds. So I think it is working.
2) At my 1 month appointment I was declared "water proof"! In other words, I was cleared for swimming.
That night I started going to the pool during adult swim time and started swimming laps.
I made a delightful discovery. When I entered my swimming into myfitnesspal.com I found out (should really probably have known this...but ) anyway, I found out that 30 minutes of swimming laps burns FOUR times the calories of waking for 30 minutes at the speed I am currently walking that causes me to sweat and be out of breath.
So - hmmm - swim and burn tons of calories or walk and huff and puff and sweat for 1/4 the calroies burned?
I'll swim, thank you.
And I have continued to swim each day. Some days I am unable to go during the "adult swim" time. So I go during normal swimming time. Today I was there at the height of the day. It was actually a lot of fun because everyone there (practically) were students of mine. So I was throwing kids, racing kids, running away from kids...having fun. Mind you, this was after my 30 minutes of laps!
Whatever the cause of my weight loss starting again, I am thrilled. I am getting to eat food and enjoying it thoroughly!
But it's very different than eating before surgery. My meal consists of, first and foremost, protein. Then some carbs and some veggies.
My new daily allotment is: 5 servings of protein (7 gms a serving), 2 servings of carbs (15 gms each), 2 servings of non-starchy veggies, 1 serving of fruit, 3 cups of milk, 1 serving of fats (5 gms), and 6-8 cups of water.
So a meal for supper?! 2 ounces of protein (fish right now), 1 serving of carbs (homemade baked fries), and some veggies.
The dietitian says I can have fruit for my fruit and my 2 servings of carbs if I want. So if I don't feel like bread, potatoes, etc - I can have some fruit.
So, the other night I had on my plate:
2 ounces of fish, 1/2 cup of baked fries and 1/4 cup of cooked carrots.
What was left on my plate when I was completely full?? 1/2 ounce of fish, and half of the fries and half of the carrots.
And I was completely satisfied and full. What a wonderful feeling. There is NO MORE clean plate club in my world. When you begin to feel full - you are DONE eating. And the full feeling lasts quite awhile for me. It is wonderful.
So eating real food, swimming everyday - these are my current answers.
On the very good side of everything...I am 5 weeks out as of today and other than the small blip with the double milk problems in week 2...I have had no problems. I have had no vomiting , nothing! So life is grand.
Clothing - this is starting to prove interesting. Last week I took two big boxes of clothes to a consignment store in Coralville. I had to do pants, they were falling off. But 2 Sundays ago when I was getting dressed for church Mike told me I looked like a little girl dressing up in her mom's clothes. So it was time to take a bunch of shirts/blouses out of the closet as well.
I did buy ONE new pair of capris. They are a little large, but the next size smaller was too small. A couple of days ago I went on-line and ordered 3 new pair of capris in the next size smaller and 5 shirts. I need some clothes that actually fit me.
This has become a slight issue as tomorrow I have a job interview. I have NO blouses, dress pants or skirts that fit me well. They are all too big. So today I tried on a dress I have that would be interview appropriate and went to Mike's office for the approval that I wasn't playing dress-up again. He confirmed it worked. So, I have something to wear for the interview - whew.
Now I just have to knock em dead so I get the job. I love teaching and I really want to be working come fall!
My weight - Like I reported in my last blog - had plateaued. On their scales I weigh in at 19 pounds lost since surgery.
I expressed my frustration because I had lost all of that 4 days after I had last seen them, 3 weeks ago.
They informed me that I should not be worried, I was right on track for weight loss at one month. THAT made me feel much better.
Evidently I read something back in October that said 6 pounds a week after surgery.
They assured me that I had NOT heard that from them. That is unrealistic. That realistic weight loss expectation would be about 10 pounds a month....which is still accelerated weight loss from "normal".
So I see them again in 2 months and they said the goal would be 20 more pounds by that point.
So...my weight loss has started up again. I owe it to two factors.
1) I am eating "normal" food again. A friend who did this surgery last July was reminding me how in the past when we would try to diet and starve ourselves, etc...our bodies don't lose the weight, they hold onto it because you go into starvation mode. She said her advice was to add some food. (i was still on liquids) So I started my pureed diet a few days before going to my 1 month appointment.
For my first "meal" I had a scrambled egg. That was the most delicious scrambled egg I have ever had!
So, I was diving into my pureed diet. However, I "cheated" because there was simply no way in heck I was going to puree my meat. NO WAY. And I don't like cooked veggies much at all, and the idea of pureeing them - no way would I eat them.
So, I picked the softest meat I could think of and that was flaky fish. And soft cooked carrots. Again...delicious.
I am on day 7 today of eating food. And according to my scale, I have lost 6 pounds. So I think it is working.
2) At my 1 month appointment I was declared "water proof"! In other words, I was cleared for swimming.
That night I started going to the pool during adult swim time and started swimming laps.
I made a delightful discovery. When I entered my swimming into myfitnesspal.com I found out (should really probably have known this...but ) anyway, I found out that 30 minutes of swimming laps burns FOUR times the calories of waking for 30 minutes at the speed I am currently walking that causes me to sweat and be out of breath.
So - hmmm - swim and burn tons of calories or walk and huff and puff and sweat for 1/4 the calroies burned?
I'll swim, thank you.
And I have continued to swim each day. Some days I am unable to go during the "adult swim" time. So I go during normal swimming time. Today I was there at the height of the day. It was actually a lot of fun because everyone there (practically) were students of mine. So I was throwing kids, racing kids, running away from kids...having fun. Mind you, this was after my 30 minutes of laps!
Whatever the cause of my weight loss starting again, I am thrilled. I am getting to eat food and enjoying it thoroughly!
But it's very different than eating before surgery. My meal consists of, first and foremost, protein. Then some carbs and some veggies.
My new daily allotment is: 5 servings of protein (7 gms a serving), 2 servings of carbs (15 gms each), 2 servings of non-starchy veggies, 1 serving of fruit, 3 cups of milk, 1 serving of fats (5 gms), and 6-8 cups of water.
So a meal for supper?! 2 ounces of protein (fish right now), 1 serving of carbs (homemade baked fries), and some veggies.
The dietitian says I can have fruit for my fruit and my 2 servings of carbs if I want. So if I don't feel like bread, potatoes, etc - I can have some fruit.
So, the other night I had on my plate:
2 ounces of fish, 1/2 cup of baked fries and 1/4 cup of cooked carrots.
What was left on my plate when I was completely full?? 1/2 ounce of fish, and half of the fries and half of the carrots.
And I was completely satisfied and full. What a wonderful feeling. There is NO MORE clean plate club in my world. When you begin to feel full - you are DONE eating. And the full feeling lasts quite awhile for me. It is wonderful.
So eating real food, swimming everyday - these are my current answers.
On the very good side of everything...I am 5 weeks out as of today and other than the small blip with the double milk problems in week 2...I have had no problems. I have had no vomiting , nothing! So life is grand.
Clothing - this is starting to prove interesting. Last week I took two big boxes of clothes to a consignment store in Coralville. I had to do pants, they were falling off. But 2 Sundays ago when I was getting dressed for church Mike told me I looked like a little girl dressing up in her mom's clothes. So it was time to take a bunch of shirts/blouses out of the closet as well.
I did buy ONE new pair of capris. They are a little large, but the next size smaller was too small. A couple of days ago I went on-line and ordered 3 new pair of capris in the next size smaller and 5 shirts. I need some clothes that actually fit me.
This has become a slight issue as tomorrow I have a job interview. I have NO blouses, dress pants or skirts that fit me well. They are all too big. So today I tried on a dress I have that would be interview appropriate and went to Mike's office for the approval that I wasn't playing dress-up again. He confirmed it worked. So, I have something to wear for the interview - whew.
Now I just have to knock em dead so I get the job. I love teaching and I really want to be working come fall!
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Hold me Accountable
So, Tuesday, June 4 will mark 4 weeks.
What has been happening since I was 1 week out?
I am exhausted all the time. Someone recently told me that drinking my water will help with my tiredness. So starting tomorrow I am renewing me devotion to getting more water.
I feel like I am constantly drinking....and since my food is also liquid right now - UGH - I am sick and tired of drinking.
After I last wrote I have had some troubles. The double milks that I am supposed to drink 3 times a day to ensure enough protein....they make me sick.
I tried for like 3 days. Each time I had some excuse for why it made me sick....overly tired, too late at night, drank it too fast, etc. But I finally emailed the dietitian and she said my symptoms sound like lactose intolerance.
Swell. So to the store to get some lactose free milk. Ha ha ha - not in Wapello. There is no lactose free milk to be found in our town. And believe me, Mike tried all possible places to buy milk! Luckily, a friend who works in Muscatine saw my facebook post and stopped and got some Lactaid for me.
Hurrah - I was back on track. Nope - same exact reaction with the Lactaid as with normal milk.
So I waited a day and tried plain old milk. Nummy, tasted great and went down fine, no side effects.
End result - it must be the dry milk mix since that was the only constant!
NOW how do I get the protein I need? I email the dietitian again. She suggests I drink 6 milks a day.
WAIT - hold the train. I would have to drink 6 glasses of milk as well as 6 glasses of water a day? I was having enough trouble getting in 6 waters and 3 milks. NO WAY.
There was one more option, Carnation INstant Breakfast, no sugar added. Add that to milk. Eeew, not my favorite thing in the world, but I was doing it once a day anyway and getting it down.
I finally gave in and bought some protein powder a friend who did this surgery last July recommended. She says it really is flavorless and she adds it to her broth. The University of Iowa program does NOT want us using protein powders. The reasoning is it adds extra calories that are un-needed.
My rationale - the dry milk powder was 80 calories, the protein powder is 110. OK - so it's 30 extra - and twice a day it's 60 extra. BUT....my "food" is like 30 calories or 80 calories, so at this stage I think I can afford the extra 60 calories. So...rebel me...I went against the rules and bought the protein powder.
The day after I ordered it I had a revelation. Last year I tried Body By Vi shakes for weight loss. I really enjoyed them. Found recipes I liked and drank a shake every day for breakfast and lunch. I wondered how many grams of protein was in that because I knew it was 90 calories.
Well shoot - there is more protein in the Body By Vi than her darn dry milk mix!!! AND, it tastes good and doesn't make me sick.
So for the last two days I've been drinking my Body By Vi shakes. And the best part...it only takes TWO get get all my protein instead of 3!!! Woo hoo, one less thing to drink!!!
Now, my frustration is my weight has already plateaued. I am not even a month out and I have not lost anything in the last 2 weeks.
When I went to the doctor I was down 10 pounds already after only 6 days. That was Monday. Friday that week I was down another 8. By the next Friday I had lost a whole 2 more pounds. And now today - same weight as last week.
The first week when I only lost 2 pounds I had decided that it was because I had my period and the water weight and such associated with that. So I was hoping/expecting this last week to pick back up.
Nope - seriously, exactly the same weight as last week....276.4
I am down 20.6 pounds since surgery. Unfortuantely, the majority of that was within 10 days and now...nothing.
No, I am not cheating and eating stuff. I'm not hungry. I force myself to eat the 3 meals a day because I am supposed to, I need the calories and such. Mike gets me out walking becasue I am supposed to. (currently that's really the only exercise I am supposed to do - walk, walk, walk) But it has been tough this week - we seem to be living in a tropical rain forest right now! Rain rain and more rain.
So, I still am not good about getting enough water and getting walking enough. I have pledged to myself - and am putting it on public record by writing it here - starting tomorrow I am GOING to drink 6 glasses of water every day and I am GOING to walk at least 30 minutes a day, but try for 45 minutes.
Any of you who see me are free to ask me if I am drinking and walking enough. Hold me accountable because evidently I need a slap upside the head.
I see the doctor next Friday, June 7 - exactly 1 month post surgery. I would REALLY like to be down some more pounds and be able to say I am drinking everything I am supposed to drink. And I would REALLY like to not be tired all the time!
If anyone in the Wapello area feels like a walk - stop by I'd love to go walking and chatting. Mind you - I'm not the fastest walker in the world still. So if you are a power walker - probably better give me some more time before I can keep up with you! But if you are okay with my pace and want to walk - stop on by, give me a call, send me a message I'd love the company and people willing to help hold me accountable!
What has been happening since I was 1 week out?
I am exhausted all the time. Someone recently told me that drinking my water will help with my tiredness. So starting tomorrow I am renewing me devotion to getting more water.
I feel like I am constantly drinking....and since my food is also liquid right now - UGH - I am sick and tired of drinking.
After I last wrote I have had some troubles. The double milks that I am supposed to drink 3 times a day to ensure enough protein....they make me sick.
I tried for like 3 days. Each time I had some excuse for why it made me sick....overly tired, too late at night, drank it too fast, etc. But I finally emailed the dietitian and she said my symptoms sound like lactose intolerance.
Swell. So to the store to get some lactose free milk. Ha ha ha - not in Wapello. There is no lactose free milk to be found in our town. And believe me, Mike tried all possible places to buy milk! Luckily, a friend who works in Muscatine saw my facebook post and stopped and got some Lactaid for me.
Hurrah - I was back on track. Nope - same exact reaction with the Lactaid as with normal milk.
So I waited a day and tried plain old milk. Nummy, tasted great and went down fine, no side effects.
End result - it must be the dry milk mix since that was the only constant!
NOW how do I get the protein I need? I email the dietitian again. She suggests I drink 6 milks a day.
WAIT - hold the train. I would have to drink 6 glasses of milk as well as 6 glasses of water a day? I was having enough trouble getting in 6 waters and 3 milks. NO WAY.
There was one more option, Carnation INstant Breakfast, no sugar added. Add that to milk. Eeew, not my favorite thing in the world, but I was doing it once a day anyway and getting it down.
I finally gave in and bought some protein powder a friend who did this surgery last July recommended. She says it really is flavorless and she adds it to her broth. The University of Iowa program does NOT want us using protein powders. The reasoning is it adds extra calories that are un-needed.
My rationale - the dry milk powder was 80 calories, the protein powder is 110. OK - so it's 30 extra - and twice a day it's 60 extra. BUT....my "food" is like 30 calories or 80 calories, so at this stage I think I can afford the extra 60 calories. So...rebel me...I went against the rules and bought the protein powder.
The day after I ordered it I had a revelation. Last year I tried Body By Vi shakes for weight loss. I really enjoyed them. Found recipes I liked and drank a shake every day for breakfast and lunch. I wondered how many grams of protein was in that because I knew it was 90 calories.
Well shoot - there is more protein in the Body By Vi than her darn dry milk mix!!! AND, it tastes good and doesn't make me sick.
So for the last two days I've been drinking my Body By Vi shakes. And the best part...it only takes TWO get get all my protein instead of 3!!! Woo hoo, one less thing to drink!!!
Now, my frustration is my weight has already plateaued. I am not even a month out and I have not lost anything in the last 2 weeks.
When I went to the doctor I was down 10 pounds already after only 6 days. That was Monday. Friday that week I was down another 8. By the next Friday I had lost a whole 2 more pounds. And now today - same weight as last week.
The first week when I only lost 2 pounds I had decided that it was because I had my period and the water weight and such associated with that. So I was hoping/expecting this last week to pick back up.
Nope - seriously, exactly the same weight as last week....276.4
I am down 20.6 pounds since surgery. Unfortuantely, the majority of that was within 10 days and now...nothing.
No, I am not cheating and eating stuff. I'm not hungry. I force myself to eat the 3 meals a day because I am supposed to, I need the calories and such. Mike gets me out walking becasue I am supposed to. (currently that's really the only exercise I am supposed to do - walk, walk, walk) But it has been tough this week - we seem to be living in a tropical rain forest right now! Rain rain and more rain.
So, I still am not good about getting enough water and getting walking enough. I have pledged to myself - and am putting it on public record by writing it here - starting tomorrow I am GOING to drink 6 glasses of water every day and I am GOING to walk at least 30 minutes a day, but try for 45 minutes.
Any of you who see me are free to ask me if I am drinking and walking enough. Hold me accountable because evidently I need a slap upside the head.
I see the doctor next Friday, June 7 - exactly 1 month post surgery. I would REALLY like to be down some more pounds and be able to say I am drinking everything I am supposed to drink. And I would REALLY like to not be tired all the time!
If anyone in the Wapello area feels like a walk - stop by I'd love to go walking and chatting. Mind you - I'm not the fastest walker in the world still. So if you are a power walker - probably better give me some more time before I can keep up with you! But if you are okay with my pace and want to walk - stop on by, give me a call, send me a message I'd love the company and people willing to help hold me accountable!
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