Building a relationship

Side Note - I wrote this October 9, 2015 and forgot to post it.  So I'm posting it now

I teach music.  I teach voice lessons.  That means, kids get to meet with me 1 on 1 or in small groups and we work on the music they are singing in choir.

For some the idea of singing all by themselves is absolutely terrifying.  Today I had  a student for voice lessons who is quiet and for this student, the idea of singing for me all alone freaked her out.

Now, this student is not one that I had at Roundy last year, so I am new to her.  And let's face it, I'm loud, talk extremely fast and can be overwhelming if you don't know me.

My elementary students know me.  I'm a nut.  I dance, I sing crazy, I talk with silly accents.  By they time I ask them to sing for me, they don't usually even think twice about it.

So, I was totally thrown off when this student was NOT going to sing for me because her lesson mates didn't show up and she was NOT going to sing all by herself.

It took a bit of cajoling on my part and promising that I won't even look at her to get her to sing.  I also goofed around with her a bit about the fact that her mom isn't quiet, neither is her grandma (to which she said, definitely not quiet!).  And she added in that her dad isn't quiet either.  LOL

I said maybe that's why she is quiet, they do all the talking.  But then said, well that theory is blown cuz I'm not quiet and neither is my husband and NEITHER are my kids.  We are all loud.

I "think" that put her more at ease because she did actually end up singing for me.  I sang the whole time as well and I played the piano and looked at my music only periodically glancing up to at least see that her mouth was moving.

Honestly - I could hear her at times and I was working on getting her comfortable with me looking at her.  So I just glanced up once in awhile so she would see that yes, I was paying attention, but I was still singing and playing and really not watching her - just looking every once in awhile.

But all of this made me think about how important the relationship is that we build with our students.  For a student to learn then need to feel safe and like they can trust the adult teaching them.

I do breakfast duty every single day at school.  I am always carrying around either a water bottle full of hot chocolate, protein shake or water.  I often sit down with the kids and chat.  Many, many people do not like having to do lunch room duty.  I'm not sure what the huge difference is between breakfast and lunch in there - but I know people try to only do lunch duty one year at a time and get to something else the next year if possible.  I don't feel like that at breakfast.  I absolutely love my breakfast duty.  In fact, when my principal started discussing the duties we would need to have covered I immediately asked if I could PLEASE have breakfast duty again this year.  No one argued, it's mine.

So, why do I love breakfast duty so much?  Because I get to spend time with the students NOT when I am expected to be getting curriculum taught to them.  That's the hard part about being a "specials" teacher.  I see the kids 35 minutes at a shot every 2 or 3 days.  I don't have any down time, or in between time in which to be able to get to know the kids individually.  Classroom teachers get that opportunity, they are able to really get to know their class of students and I envy that!

So, this allows me the chance to work on that kind of "down time" relationship.  To get to know the kids outside of the music classroom.  What makes them tick, what do they like, why do they do this, etc.

I don't stress about the kids talking while eating - or the loudness in the room.  Honestly, I don't even notice how loud or quiet it is.  I'm too focused on the kids and how they are doing.  Others may think I am crazy and that it's super loud - but I honestly have never noticed it being overly loud.  Not saying it doesn't happen, just that I haven't noticed it.

I learn about the birthdays happening that day, see the unique "gifts" students bring for the classroom teacher and are SO proud of.  (Yesterday's "gift" - hilarious.  A couple of students brought painted apples for their teachers, like an entire ice cream bucket full of them.  Upon looking in their bucket I decided I would NOT be offended if they didn't offer me an apple.

At lunch, the 2 teachers these girls have were talking about the apples they received.  Discussing the colors they were painted and how theirs were different from each others.  I looked at them and said, "They are real apples, you know."

They did NOT know.  They thought they were little wooden or plastic apples the kids painted.  IT never even occurred to them that the students had painted REAL apples.  About 3 hours later I get an email from one of the teachers.  All it says is "Yep.....They're real!!!!!!!!!!!!  LOL"   In fact, it wasn't even a full fledged email - that was the subject of the email and there was no body to it.

Now remember, this is a couple of hours later and I'm now in the high school doing voice lessons and I have totally forgotten about the lunch conversation and the fact that I suggested they go back and check on the apples to see if they are wood or real.  Yep, totally forgot about all of this.

So when I got the email "Yep, they're real" - my mind was not on apples.  My brain went elsewhere.  So I had to reply with "What are real?!?!?"

She replies, "apples  LOL"  At that point I nearly fall over I'm laughing so hard reading my email.

My point in all of this - I actually had the opportunity to build a realtionship wit the students during my daily breakfast duty so that I knew about these apples and knew they were real.

I work really, really hard in the mornings to be a positive, smiling face and voice when the kids are at breakfast.  I want them to feel welcomed and appreciated and safe.