Everyone needs a happy place, a place where they feel happy, comfortable, confident, needed.
I love being with my family, hanging out with my kids, going on a date with my husband, doing family game night. But that is not my happy place.
Okay, don't get mad at me for saying my family, my home is not my happy place. Yes, it is an extremely happy place for me, but there is a place I feel even more needed than at home. I know my kids and my husband need me. I know that I am a positive influence in their lives. I know that what I say and do matter to my family. But I also know that my children and my husband get that positive influence every single day from me. I know that my having a bad day will not mean they don't love me. I know that there will be other positive things in their life that day even if I lose my temper or get angry with them.
The thing that makes me sad is all of the children who don't have that positive influence in their lives every day. The children who hear negative at home all the time, who start their day with yelling, not love. The children who are teased by classmates and feel they have no where to turn. My heart breaks be the knowledge that their are children who go home each day and may not get a hug and a kiss from a parent or hear the words, "I love you."
Every single child deserves to know they are loved, that they matter. They deserve to get a hug if they need it.
My happy place is the entryway to our school in the morning before school starts. I go to school every morning and I sit in the chairs in the entryway and I greet the students as they come into the building for school.
I great each child by name and say, "Good morning." I comment on the clothes they are wearing, the bags they are carrying and their hair styles. I ask how their game went last night or if they are excited for their game tonight. I tell them I am sorry if I know of something sad that has happened. Basically I am just there to be a greeter and a friendly face for them each day.
The students have started to realize that I am there every day and are now watching for me as they enter. There is one group of 4 students who come in and they laugh at me trying to say their names quickly as they rush on by.
Some of the kids ask me, "Is this your job?" I explain to them that no, no one asked me to be there, it is where I want to be to welcome them to school each day. I tell them that I like being there and seeing them every morning, that seeing them makes me happy and starts my day off on a great foot.
So today, I was sitting in my normal spot giving my morning greetings to the kids. Toward the end of the morning a young girl came in and looked rather sad. I said good morning to her, I told her to have a good day. She lingered and looked at me. I asked her what was wrong, that she looked like something was bugging her. She started crying, telling me that she missed her mommy. Inside I had to smile, it's so nice to know that kids love their parents so much! Outside I told her that I missed my mommy too some days, but we still have to do our jobs and know that our mommy loves us and we'll see them soon.
She just cried and cried. I opened my arms and she threw herself into them and hugged me and cried. She desperately needed someone to hold her and tell her she would be okay. It took all of about 30 seconds before she was put back together enough to head down the hall to her 2nd grade classroom. She needed someone to reassure her that it was okay to be sad, but she would be okay. I saw her later that morning and she was all smiles and having a great day.
Why is this my happy place? Because I love to be there for people. I love to know that I am helping to make the day better for some people. I know that not every child cares that I am there, but I know that there are some children who do care that I am there and who are now looking for me in the morning and looking for that greeting from me to start their day. It is my hope that by doing this I can help make school a happy place for the students.
Children spend more of their waking hours with us in school than at home. We are a huge influence on these children. How we act, how we react can severely affect our students. We cannot allow our moods to adversely affect our students.
We have a responsibility to our students to always be our best for them. They can frustrate the heck out of us, the can make us angry, but we have to be the "bigger person" and turn the other cheek. We need to realize that they are children and we cannot expect them to act like adults. It is our job to teach them and help them grow into responsible adults. If the students see us being rude to each other, not being friendly to students, yelling at students...they see that as acceptable behavior. They copy what they see modeled for them.
Are we modeling what we want to see from them? Or are we taking more of a "do as I say not as I do" attitude? School should be a happy place for all of us...students and staff alike. Everyone of us should enjoy our time there. We adults have chosen to be there...we should enjoy the job we have chosen. STudents do NOT get to choose to be there, the law says they have to go to school (public, private or home). Shouldn't they enjoy the time they have to be there? Shouldn't they enjoy the people they are around?
If you are someplace where you don't feel happy, you don't enjoy...do you learn well? If you are with someone who is negative and crabby, do you listen well to them? I know I don't. When I have taken classes from instructors who viewed their job as tedious, I know that I did not get as much from that class I could have. That is for 2 reasons - I don't want to be around that person for very long and that person isn't putting all of their energy into making sure I get the best education.
My job is teaching children. My job is to make sure that what I teach them is absorbed and learned. When you are having fun while you learn, you learn more. You internalize the material and you just know it. I can't do my job to the best of my ability if I am not happy. When you are unhappy your mind is on other things not necessarily where it needs to be in order to be the best teacher you can be.
School is my happy place because I know that I make a difference in the lives of the students. I know that my happiness affects my teaching. I choose to be positive and help the students be positive. I choose to say corrective instructions to students in a positive way rather than negative. It doesn't take longer, it doesn't hurt me and it certainly has a better effect on the student than yelling at them.
I know that some students have a harder time following the expectations that we have for them. I know that I will need to remind those students of those expectations multiple time a day. Yes, this is frustrating because it seems so obvious to me. But I am an adult, it should be obvious to me. When I am telling the student the same thing for the 8th time, 10th time, 15th time...if I allow myself to get angry and yell or "chew them out" I basically have just undone any good I may have done by being positive the first time.
There are some kids we are simply going to have to "remind" 20 times a day. We know that going into it. We know from experience that yelling at kids who you have to remind 20 times daily, does no good. It certainly doesn't help them remember it better. Telling them louder doesn't make it sink in! :-)
So if we know that we are going to say it over and over and over, why not choose to say it in a positive way? Why not lower your stress level and choose to be positive?!
Kids need reminders, they are kids. Some come from a home life where all they hear is yelling and negative comments. If we, as educators, add to that at school by yelling and being negative - these children will not view school as a happy place. We want kids to feel like school is a place they can be happy. We have the power to make it that way for them. We have the power.
My happy place is the school and the entry way before school each day when our students come in full of energy and excitement. I choose to use my energy to grab that excitement and carry it forward through the whole school day. I choose to tell that student POSITIVELY 20 times that they need to keep all 4 legs of their chair on the floor because I don't want them to hurt themselves. I choose to take a moment longer to say WHY we expect that instead of just telling them to do it. Kids have a much easier time following our expectations when they know WHY we have that expectation.
I choose to be a positive person and make a positive difference in the lives of my students. I choose to have school be my happy place.
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