The Little Things in Life

A former elementary student of mine (she's all grown up with kids of her own now) posted the following status on her facebook page today.

Walking into Target last night, Wyatt standing in front of the doors ,"Open, please." They open and as we walk in Wyatt, "Thank You." And he did the same thing for the next ones too!! All I could do was smile :) I hope today you all can take the time to be grateful for the simple, little things in life!!

What a great message and this is from a 3 year old.  No one ever told him that you don't have to be polite to a door.  For him, it is just natural to be polite and to say please and thank you.  Now there is some good parenting.  I assure you, his parents did tell him to be sure to ask doors to open for him and to thank them when they do.  But his parents have taught him to be polite and to say please and thank you.  HE decided to carry that forward to the doors all by himself.  He wanted the door to open, so naturally you ask nicely.  The doors opened for him, so naturally you say thank you.

His mom followed the story by saying she hoped that today we can all take the time to be grateful for the simple, little things in life.

We take so much for granted in our lives.  When someone does something that we perceive to be their "job", we don't feel we need to thank them.  Why is that?

Everyday I watch kids go through the lunch line at school.  They are getting their tray, being allowed to choose the fruits and veggies they want, they choose chocolate or white milk.  In all at least 4 people assist them getting their lunch.  Then when they are done they take their tray to the window where the dishwasher is.  So they must interact with at least 5 people during the course of lunch.  These 5 people are responsible for providing these kids with their lunch for the day.  VERY few of the students, or adults for that matter, make sure to thank these people for serving them their lunch, taking their lunch ticket or cleaning their dishes.  Yes, it is their job to provide us our meals, but don't they deserve our gratitude?  

I have witnessed what happens when students or adults DO take the 2 seconds it takes and say thank you.  It makes those people stand or sit a little taller, it makes them feel good about what they are doing.  And how about when you bring your dirty dishes in, saying thank you, that tasted really good.  It takes SO little time and it can mean so much to the people you say it to.

Does that mean that we as teachers or parents should teach our children what to say and who, specifically, to say it to.  No, that would be incredibly difficult.  You can't anticipate every situation.  You certainly can't anticipate talking to a door!  :-)

But we have a responsibility to teach our students/children manners, politeness, gratitude for what we have.  When we take things for granted our students and children see this and it passes on to them that this is just something that should happen and there is no need to say thanks or please.

Manners, politeness, gratitude - these are hard things to teach.  I think the biggest way we can teach that is to model it.  If our students or children see us modeling manners, modeling being grateful for things and saying thank you, modeling holding the door or helping others when not even asked, they will learn that it is the appropriate thing to do and they will start doing it.

I had a student do something out of the blue today.  This child is not necessarily known for his manners, his politeness or even for following the rules.  He had done something to get in trouble and was sitting near the office.  I was walking in the hall and out of the blue he says, "I like your shirt."  Honestly, I had to ask him to repeat himself because I could not believe what I had heard from him.  This is NOT his typical behavior.  He didn't want to repeat himself, he thought he was in trouble.  I said, "I simply didn't hear what you said, can you say it again please."  He did and I thanked him.

Later when I had time, I found him and gave him a "good ticket".  He looked at me (he doesn't get a lot of good tickets) with confusion.  I told him that giving a person a compliment out of the blue was a very kind thing to do and deserved to be acknowledged with a good ticket.  He just looked at me in amazement and I repeated "thank you, it meant a lot."

It's the little things that we notice and acknowledge that matter.  Do I think that because I acknowledged this one small act that this child will change?  No, at least not instantly.  But what about noticing the little things, giving accolades to the little things...they add up and make an impression on a person.  This student will NEVER admit it made him feel good, but I could tell it did and I will be grateful for that little impact on him I could have.

Wyatt is a 3 year old, he is just naturally appreciating things.  It makes him happy.  Have you ever noticed that when you appreciate the little things you see, it makes you feel better.  When you can say "good job" to someone and you get to see them feel good about themselves...that makes me feel good.  Not good about myself but good that I have made someone else feel good.

Remember that little girl who I talked about yesterday?  The one who came into school missing her mom and crying.  Today she came in with a smile on her face.  I said, "Looks like you are having a better morning."  She smiled and gave me a hug and I wished her well and sent her on her way.  She remembers the minute I took yesterday to console her, it meant a lot to her.  

My thinking tonight, as I go into the weekend.  How can I be more like Wyatt in my private life and my life at school?  How can I do more to be grateful for the simple, little things in life?  I know that I intend to be more alert about saying thank you to people who do things that affect me positively, no matter how little those things seem.  Because if it was a positive for me, why not let them know I am grateful?  Why not thank them?

So remember the message of Wyatt and be grateful for those little things in your life, watch the change it makes in you and those around you.