Why do they think they have the right?

Name calling, typical elementary school behavior, right?  I say no.  I say adults need to step in and help children see that they are hurting others by calling them names.  I know that for me - it may have made all the difference in the world.

Fat, Moose, chubby, jolly, plump...all names I have been called.

I know, it has been harped on me many times in my life, that I shouldn't let the opinion of others affect me so much.  I think the term used most toward me was "paranoid".  The problem is, I didn't start out that way, I grew into it because of experience.  I learned that when 2 people were whispering when you approached and then suddenly stopped - chances are they WERE talking about you and not in a positive way.

Our society uses chubby, plump and other more "pleasant sounding" names for a child who is overweight.  I guess we feel that using a kinder name for it won't hurt the child?!  WRONG.  Kids who are overweight are NOT stupid, they are simply overweight.  Why do we, as a society, feel that it is okay to poke fun of people who are different or out of the norm?  It is one of the reasons I will NOT watch American Idol.  I think all that show does, in the beginning stages anyway, is tell the viewers that it is okay to belittle and put down other people.  The producers purposely pick people to put on the air who are NOT going to be picked for the show.  Then they have the judges act rudely toward them and call it entertainment.  Seriously - making fun of others and calling them names... when did that become an acceptable form of entertainment.  No wonder no one stops the bullying in school - these same adults are watching American Idol and laughing.  (Disclaimer - I am a teacher - and I do know many teachers try to stop bullying, I am making a generalization here, not a sweeping judgement on teachers)  Also - no wonder students think it's okay to call people names and make fun of them - they are seeing it on TV regularly and it is accepted, appropriate behavior as far as they are concerned.

Moose - all through High School a student a year ahead of me "kindly" nicknamed me Moose.  The sad part is, he also was not of an "average" weight.  I think he was trying to point out there was someone else fat, not just him.  But NO ONE tried to stop it.  And no, he didn't do it quietly, he was blatant about it and had no trouble calling me names around adults.  But not a single adult ever asked me about it or confronted him about it.  However, my parents always told me to buck up and brush it off - which made me feel like I should just accept it.  Not what I needed.

Ever since I started teaching I have had an expectation in my classroom that you will show respect for feelings.  I always have kids talk about how they feel when someone makes fun or teases them.  My favorite/least favorite (depending on how you look at it) was a Kindergartener who said "It make me feel smaller and like I don't matter."  Wow - what incredible insite from a 5 year old.  I explain that when we tease others (which we all have done) we are making them feel that way and if we don't like it, then neither do they and we shouldn't make others feel that way.  I talk about that it doesn't matter if you are 5 or 43 like me (that always makes them shocked- I am OLD), teasing hurts and we simply will not do it.  Thus, I have many students come to me when they are called names, and need to come to a safe adult.

In the raising of my children (aged 12 and 9) my husband and I have tried very hard to teach them that everyone is amazing for who they are.  It doesn't matter what the color of their skin is, what religion they are, what their sexual orientation is, what their socioeconomic status is, etc - ALL of us were created by God and ALL of us are wonderful for who we are.  Choosing to live in small communities, we have LOTS of questions at home when they hear others not living by this belief, but we teach them that everyone is entitled to their beliefs.  We don't have to agree with them, we don't have to like them, but we have to respect their opinion and beliefs.  But it has also created many hours of wonderful conversations with our children and for that I am grateful.

So, name calling, thinking you are better than someone else - something that has bugged me for as long as I can remember.  Something I am sure you'll hear more about in the future.